


Cause I'm a Little Unsteady (Hold Onto Me)

by Shownkindness



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Based on a Tumblr Post, Based on a prompt that wasn't mine but adopted it because reasons, Eventual Smut, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Assault, Supportive Girlfriend, Supportive friend group, Supportive partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 12:42:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11555424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shownkindness/pseuds/Shownkindness
Summary: Imagine Person A of your OTP has been dealing with trauma from a past sexual assault. Person B is there to support them through it, and once Person A is ready, they tenderly have their first sexual experience together.





	Cause I'm a Little Unsteady (Hold Onto Me)

There are moments in this world that evil descends upon our lives. These moments are the scars on our hearts that would bleed us out if we let them. These moments are the ones that make us question if there is a reason for this world besides pain. Society has breed the world where these scars are not just a sign of injustice in the world, but they are the marks of the survivors. The people that had looked that evil in the eyes and said, “I am stronger than you.” The people that have not survived the evil brought down on them are the whispers on the wind of regret, lives lost before their time. You never think evil will touch you and scar you, but when the world seems to be going right, the eyes of evil will cross your path to remind you. The evil could just a be a moment, but the scar left on your heart will forever be the reminder. 

The first month after the assault Chloe couldn’t let anyone touch her. The Bellas had all rushed to her side to support her, but Chloe was too stuck in her own head. She couldn’t smile, laugh and even when she sang during rehearsals her words always seemed to come off as hollow. The rumors around campus where the top of it all, many people thought she had asked for it. That she was too ashamed to admit that she had made a mistake. It hadn’t even happened on campus, but with the digital age, it was within two days that they knew she had been at the hospital in a torn dress getting a rape kit done. The redhead had refused to call her parents and begged Stacie just to call Aubrey to come get them. 

They had been walking to their Uber when Stacie needed to use the bathroom. The car had been late so Chloe stood outside the one stall bathroom connected to the gas station waiting, that was how he grabbed her. You hear stories about how it happened so fast, but for Chloe, it had been the slowest moments of her life. She regretted wearing the dress, logically she knew it wasn’t her fault but she still thought it. In all honestly, it had only been three minutes tops because Stacie was coming out of the bathroom and started yelling. As he ran off Chloe fell to the ground so stunned that she wasn't sure how to react. There were voices and she could hear the police sirens in the background, but nothing seemed to come into focus. The only thought that seemed clear to Chloe was, ‘I was just raped.’

A case started to be formed, Chloe not being the only victim. As the details started to become public knowledge Chloe struggled to even want to leave the house. She dropped school and Bellas not wanting to cast that kind of black shadow over her friends. To their credit, they refused to leave her side even after she pushed them all away. Aubrey would make sure they had dinner together every night, mostly wanting to make sure that the other girl was still eating. Stacie would bring her the gossip that they use to spend hours chatting about. Amy would bring her random treats and sneaked in ‘special treats’ that Chloe respectfully took, but hit the garbage the moment she left. The girls would all come over for a movie night every two weeks, even movie hating Beca attended every night.

Beca. Chloe thought that after the assault that no one would want her, thinking that she was tainted and dirty. It hadn’t been planned, they had been dancing around their feelings before the assault had happened. The months following the trial Beca attended each part with her, holding her hand when time allowed and would hug her at the end of the day knowing that they were steps closer to evil facing its judgment day. There had been four other women that had been scared by this same evil, but Chloe didn’t want to have a kinship with them. They looked alone and Chloe took a few moments to appreciate the times Aubrey all but dragged her to the dinner table, the times the Bellas asked her questions about anything under the sun and the times Beca had just held her while she cried. As the verdict was found Chloe had wished that a feeling of peace had fallen into her bones. Still, those three minutes would hold onto her but looked at the other women she knew she wasn’t going to bleed to death. 

A little over a year after the assault Chloe was sitting across a nervous looking Beca at a fancy restaurant having their first date. Beca had pulled out all the stops, flowers, music and a meal that had to cost her a month's pay to afford. The redhead tried to tell her date that she didn’t need to go to such lengths, that they had basically been dating for months now. The now returning senior would have been happy with some Chinese take out and Beca allowing her to watch Frozen one more time. The brunette's response had caused her to take a moment to be thankful for such a wonderful person to be in her life.

“Beca this is too much.” Chloe had blushed seeing the place Beca was driving up to, “We can just go back to my apartment and order out, that would be more than enough.”

“You deserve more than ‘more than enough’ Chloe. You are a gift to this world Chloe and I will remind you every day if I have to.” Beca spoke not looking at the girl knowing she would have died of embarrassment. 

After dinner, Beca took her to the rip off pit having in listed the other Bellas to woo her with a musical number. Chloe just wiped the tears from her eyes listening to the smooth alto of her girlfriend’s voice. They spent an hour with their friends before the two slipped away back to Chloe’s apartment. Having just seen Aubrey they knew they had the place to themselves and quickly got caught up in a sweet kiss, a kiss that would remind you of a summer’s breeze if you needed to describe it. When Beca moved to lay Chloe down on the sofa she felt the woman under her tense up and softly pulled away searching the blue she had come to love. Breathing through her nose Chloe kept her eyes closed trying to rebalance herself, ground herself. 

“Chloe, Chl hey open your eyes it’s ok it’s just me.”

Light blue stared into the depths of ocean blue trying to come back from that place. Sobs broke from Chloe’s lips as her arms came to hug herself. There was so much guilt it was eating her from the inside, not of the assault but of what it had turned it into. Beca deserved to have someone whole, someone that could handle making out on a sofa. They hadn’t even pulled their clothes off and here Chloe having flashes of that night. It hadn’t the first time they had kissed, they snuck kisses before but feeling the pressure of Beca against her had caused Chloe to remember that night. The only noise filling the room was broken sobs and crying, a noise Chloe she thought she had overcome from producing. 

Making sure that she wasn’t touching Chloe Beca sat down on the floor next to the sofa watching her girlfriend with soft eyes. When the sobs had finally subsided Beca offered her hand to the girl that was still laying down with tears in her eyes. Quick to take her hand Chloe refused to meet brown eyes. Trying to figure out where Chloe’s head was at Beca ran through everything that had happened trying to understand. She had no experience of this before she had fallen for the redhead. She avoided people so her knowledge about human interactions was limited. Noticing the other girl was shaking Beca tugged the blanket off of the back of the sofa and handed it to Chloe not wanting to stand and seem like she was looming over the other girl.

“I’m sorry.” a scratchy whimper came from the woman lying on the sofa while she tucked the blanket around herself, “I’m sorry so sorry, I’m sorry.” she kept whimpering.

Beca squeezed her hand softly, “Oh sweetheart no. No, you have nothing to be sorry for, this is not your fault. You are ok, you are safe and I am right here ok? If you bursting into my shower demanding me to join the Bellas didn’t scare me off this won't. You are stuck with me. You hear me, Beale?”

“I.. I hear you Becs.” Chloe whispers as she squeezes the hand back.

“Good, now do you want to tell me what happened? I want to know so I can help you and stuff.”

“Umm.” Chloe swallowed, “When we laid down, um and you were over me and against me. I-I remembered him, I don’t want to remember him Beca, I want him gone. Why aren’t I over this already!”

Beca tried to think of an answer that would some how to make it all better, but there wasn't one. She couldn't find words that would make what happened to fade away. Beca tried to remember anything that she could to comfort the girl.

“You don’t get over this kind of thing Chloe. It will always be there, but that doesn't mean we can't move past this. Just because you reacted this time doesn't mean you will always react this way. We can work through this and figure it out together.” Beca reassured tenderly.

Chloe finally looked into Beca’s eyes to see if she was being honest to find no lies in her eyes. A few more tears fell from her eyes while the couple says and laid in silence. There was no need for them to express how they felt for each other, the truth laid in their held glaze. Knowing the words Beca spoke were true from her heart Chloe slowly relaxed. Beca never says her as less than Chloe. When the whole campus had been quick to put the blame on her before they had the facts, the Bellas had stood by her side supporting her. The ex Captain spoke about how there was a bond between the Bellas, one of sisterhood and she really did feel that. 

Sitting up on the sofa Chloe let go of Beca’s hand and straightened her clothing with a small smile, “Can we watch Frozen?”

Beca rolled her eyes standing off from where she was next to the sofa,”Yes we can watch Frozen.”

**

Three weeks later and they hadn’t spoken of what happened since that night. There were still kisses, but Beca was hesitant to try and push them further. Beca moved her stuff out of her dorm and moved in with her girlfriend seeing Aubrey had moved to start her career. Honestly, the DJ had only been half listening to what she had planned to do. Chloe would remind her later when she forgot, it would probably result in a small slap on her arm, but it meant she could continue to work on her latest mix in her head. When the baseline was figured out Aubrey was putting her last bag into the car and giving Chloe a soft hug. 

“Take care of her ok Beca? I know of painful ways to get rid of you if you hurt her.” Aubrey spoke looking her dead in the eye.

“Aye aye Cap.” Beca gave an awkward salute and watched their friend drive away.

Now that the two had the place to themselves Chloe let her eyes run over the body of her girlfriend. She knew that Beca was letting her set their pace. It was appreciated that Beca was trying to make her as comfortable as she could, but Chloe also wanted people to stop treating her like she would break. Yes, she had been attacked, but that wasn’t going to hold her back from being with the girl she had been in love with for over a year now. When she was alone she would remember the shower she broke into almost two years ago. She wanted to see Beca, in a more voluntary situation. 

“So I was thinking pizza for dinner, I don’t really feel like going when we just got the place to ourselves.” Beca’s words brought her back from her thoughts.

“I agree pizza sounds amazing, can I have pineapples?!” A small bounce was in her step following her girlfriend to the living room. 

“Gross dude.” Beca comments while dialing the number to their local pizza place, “Hello I’d like to place an order. A large bacon pizza, half with pineapples and an order of cheese bread. Yes. Thank you, the address is 43 Barden drive. Ya, you too.”

“Yay!” Chloe cheered once her girlfriend is from the phone, pulling her into a thank you kiss.

Trying to hide the blush on her cheeks Beca turned on the tv, flipping to their Netflix. Going to the bedroom Chloe grabbed a pillow returning to her girlfriend cuddling up to her. Placing the pillow on Beca’s lap she laid her head down. It had become their thing when cuddled up on the sofa. Beca would complain that Chloe had a heavy head so she would place a pillow down for her to rest her head. Chloe knew that Beca was just worried about her being uncomfortable and it would make her heart beat a little faster. Beca always did little things that said she loved her but had trouble actually saying the words. 

There was knock on the door and Beca stood to get her wallet to pay while Chloe answered the door. Once the pizza had crossed into the house they sat back down on the sofa to eat and finish off a show they had been putting off. As the night progressed Chloe kept getting distracted from the show watching her girlfriend instead. Beca tried not to let it show but she could feel the eyes of her girlfriend on her. The light blush gave her away, but it was worth the silly smile that crossed the other girl’s lips. Turning the tv off the dark haired girl just lifted her eyebrow. 

“Hi?” Beca asked questioning.

“Hi” Chloe smiled up at her.

“Can I help you?”

“Why yes you can, you can give me kisses then take me to bed, my sweet girlfriend.” Chloe answered strongly.

With a smile, Beca leaned down and kisses the girl on her lip. Chloe arched her back to press into the kiss more with a soft hmm. Their lips meet lazily for a few moments before Chloe tangled her fingers into Beca’s hair, slipping her tongue against her partner’s. They both groaned into the kiss and pulled away looking at each other. Beca was looking to see if there was any hesitation in the eyes of the other girl. She never wanted to pressure her into something that not only would hurt her mentally, but also their relationship. She would rather they never made that step than hurt the other girl. 

“We don’t have to Chloe, I am perfectly happy with how we are now.” 

That was the moment Chloe knew that it would be alright. The way the girl was so tender with her and checking in at the smallest change. Beca would hold onto her and would make her feel safe again. Together they would reclaim a part of life that should only be used for mutual pleasure, not for gain. She didn’t feel alone facing her fears of the night when the light that was Beca in her hand. She would not forget that night, but Beca could remind her that it doesn’t define her, that she doesn’t need to live in fear.

“Take me to bed Beca.” Chloe answered.

With a nod, Beca stood up and lead them down the hall to their bedroom. With a gentle tug, Beca pulled Chloe’s lips onto hers while unbuttoning her own flannel. Pulling the shirt off her shoulders she pulled Chloe’s shirt up. Chloe stepped back and pulled the shirt off her of her body swallowing. There was a tender touch on her shoulder and looking up she only saw love in the eyes of her girlfriend. With a small noise of confirmation, Beca leaned in to kiss her taking her own shorts and underwear off hoping that if she naked first it would be easier on Chloe. Said girl ran her fingers over Beca’s stomach wanting to take in the feeling of her partner’s skin. To remind herself that this was real, this was Beca. Moving up to the bra strap her fingers followed to the back of the bra slowly unhooking it pressing kisses up and down the other girl’s neck. A soft pant left Beca’s lips while she pressed her naked body to Chloe’s mostly clothed one. Working her fingers to Chloe’s back unhooking her bra and helped it off of the shoulders of her girlfriend.

“This okay Chlo?” Beca asked tenderly awhile her hands cupped the breasts she hadn’t seen in over a year.

“Yesss.” Chloe hissed tilting her head back with eyes closed.

Taking it as a good sign Beca kisses and nipped down the neck of her girlfriend. A shiver ran down her spine and she wasn’t sure if it was because she was naked in their bedroom or because Chloe was trusting her. Fingers tangled in her leading her down to the standing nipple of her left breast. Getting the hint her lips wrapped around the nipple sucking gently while her fingers run across her stomach and arms. Moving her fingers down she unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down her legs, making sure to leave the other girl’s underwear in place. 

Chloe pulled Beca up needing to kiss her, her body already on fire from such little foreplay. Their kiss was heated, Chloe biting Beca’s lower lip groaning in need. She shyly moved her hand to Beca’s body her hand cupped both of her breasts. A gentle whine lift the lips of the shorter girl when Chloe rolled her nipples between her fingers. Pulling away from the kiss Beca started to suck at Chloe’s neck to leave marks in her wake. Both started to pant from the touches and Chloe pulled them to the bed laying down. For a moment Beca remembered what happened last they were like this. Thinking fast she laid down next to her girlfriend so they were both on their sides. 

Not questioning what her girlfriend was doing Chloe went back to exploring her girlfriend’s body with her fingers. Laying back she let Chloe explore feeling hot against the sheets of their bed. She let her fingers run up and down the thigh of her girlfriend feeling the heat that was coming from between her legs. Catching her eyes Chloe checked to make sure she could touch her. There was a nod and Chloe let her fingers drift between the wet folds of her girlfriend. Gathering a small about of wetness on her fingers Chloe places small clockwise circles on the hood of her clit. Thighs shaking Beca shivered in pleasure now moaning out into their quiet house. Encouraged by the noise Chloe started to V her fingers over the clit to draw it out, drawing the breath out of Beca. The other girl’s breath started to become labored and it only took a few minutes of the gentle movements that caused her body to still while she came shaking.

Chloe removed her fingers and licked at them while watching Beca calm down. Once Beca was down from her high she pulled Chloe into a kisses tasting herself on her lips with a groan. Chloe felt her hips jerk forward into the kiss and felt gentle fingers on her hips playing with her panties; the panties Beca had left on her. Their kiss got more aggressive with need making Chloe whining wanting to be touched by her girlfriend. The fingers moved and pulled the panties down slowly like each touch was a reassuring kiss on her thighs. By the time they were off she was already a shaking mess. Moving to lay down next to Beca she felt palms holding her hips and looked at Beca questioningly. Pulling Chloe up it took only a few seconds for the older girl to realize what her partner wanted.

Moving to straddle Beca’s face Chloe was a little unsure if this would work, but the moment she felt Beca’s tongue move through her fold her mind went blank. Sucking tenderly at the lips of Chloe’s heat Beca tried to remember the taste of the girl she had been chasing for a year. Moving her tongue up to her clit she sucked and teased it feeling fingers pulling at her hand. Harsh pants filled the room and Beca could tell that the other girl was close but needed a little push. Tapping the other girl’s thigh softly she caught blue dark with lust looking down at her while she held up two fingers with a raised eyebrow. Chloe was quick to agree to understand the question lifting up slightly so Beca could make her hand between them. 

Beca ran her fingers through Chloe’s folds to make sure her two fingers were wet before slowly pushing them into the girl on top of her. A loud moan broke across from Chloe’s lips and that was enough encouragement for Beca to curl in her fingers to hit that special spot on her front wall. It only took three pumps of her fingers and a well-timed suck for Chloe start shaking above her. Beca held her hip softly to help her ride out her orgasm petting her sides reassuring. Moving back down to the mattress Chloe cuddled up into Beca’s side tears running down her face.

“Chloe? What's wrong?” Beca sat up to check to see if she hurt her girlfriend.

“Nothing Becs, nothing is wrong. Everything is just really right at the moment.” Chloe explained pressing her forehead to her girlfriend’s with a smile, “I love you.”

“I love you too Chloe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the anon that posted this prompt and massivedrickhead for making it adoptable. Being able to give this prompt some justice has made my whole week. I wanted to get the emotion right and it would have been done sooner, but I needed to stop and regroup. 
> 
> \- To My Beca
> 
> Thank you for being there and being so understanding.
> 
> Your Chloe


End file.
